Toward the end of last year, I wrote the following draft of what I thought would be my final Geezer piece.
If I had a regular job, this would be a retirement announcement. About going from on to off. Since I don’t have a regular job, this is about a passage made up of bits and bobs. A change from a defined way (despite not having a paychcck) to a vague hodgepodge of endeavors.
Sixty-five years of writing and seeking a readership is enough. It has been a pleasure but also work – fulfilling, but an obligation.
So now I’m going to spend what time I have left not worrying about whether what I have written is embarrassing and give in to a life of being without striving. One exception: continue diligent and disciplined effort to slow further deterioration of my spine.
Read in the blissful way that I read comic books as a boy.
Enjoy more of the fine music that is a constant offering in this city.
Maybe in a leisurely way finish editing the Pinto novel..
Do what old people often do – go through boxes of letters and mementos to see what they offer of definition and quiet.
Forgive myself for needing so much sleep.
Yes – be without striving.
I never published this “retirement” announcement. Instead, not long after, I wrote in a Geezer piece that I was going to put the finishing touches on a historical adventure novel that I’ve been fooling around with since 1993. To free up time, I would take a leave from writing Ruminations. (I had another reason, too, which I’ll come back to down the page.) The leave taking was easy. The novel is still in process. I have many excuses for not finishing it. Maybe I’ve just not been passionate enough. But there is more to it than that.
In July, chronic back pain required an operation – my ninth. Before I was fully recovered, Ann and I went to France to celebrate our fortieth wedding anniversary. Soon after arriving, I had emergency surgery for an intestinal blockage and was hospitalized for a month in Paris and a week or so in New York when I got home. Being sick gets in the way of most things except being sick.
Also, I was slowed by age. Moments of not being able to find the word I was looking for. Naps morphing from optional to required. Diminishing interest in current events. What is Invidia? What is AI? Don’t know. Don’t much care. How the Yankees were playing rose to outsize importance. In the circumstances, finishing the novel was readily postponed.
In additon to the novel, illness, and aging, I had another reason for not writing Geezerblockead pieces this year; Donald Trump.
The destruction being wrought as he started his second term was dispiriting and absorbing. It was all I wanted to write about. Trouble was, I had nothing to say that others were not already saying. Sure, I could have pointed out that Trump made it OK to be self-centered, that such thinking was destroying the country and its citizens, that there is little or no difference between America first and me first. But those who didn’t already know this would have been unreachable.
Now that I’m getting healthy again and there are signs that Trumpism is not invincible, I’m thinking I’ll make a new effort to produce some Ruminations. The novel can wait.
Hello Paul,
So good to hear from you again. I can relate to everything you said, both about getting older, and about being discouraged by the Trump effect on our country. It is always worthwhile to read your ‘ruminations’ and I hope you can continue to offer them. We need your wisdom and wit!
Rosalie Fontana
Saranac Lake, NY
Hi Paul, I’m glad you’ve decided to resume writing. I myself think that it keeps the mind engaged, and that it’s enjoyable to play with words. I understand completely what you say about a life without striving. Now in my 80s, I’m going to claim some privileges and do just that. One of the advantages of being old is that it’s up to the young people to solve the world’s problems, and I remind them that we weren’t given a rose garden when we were their age.
Dear Paul! So relieved to have you back! I was concerned; still am, but relieved.
Yes, hope appears to be taking effective shape. Thank God!
It’s good to read your words again. I’m looking forward to doing so more often.
Glad you’re back. I’ve missed you❤️
Glad you’re back! Send my best to Ann!
Dear Paul
I too have missed hearing from you, although I don’t often agree with you about our president.
It’s amazing to me how two old friends from the same home town and state who went to the same grade school and high school but different colleges could be so far apart politically. Although I have never lived abroad, I have had the privilege of traveling abroad but I still live in Texas.
Despite our differences I always look forward to your geezer thoughts and I’m so happy to hear from you today.
Best always,
Marguerite V Guinn
Amen to all the replies above. We all missed you and what you have to say Paul, pretty much no matter what the subject. So stick with the rumiinations and do them frequently ….it will keep you going and keep us going.
“The Return of the Geezer”…thanks be to God!
So glad you are back, Paul, and ready to once again take on Trump.
So glad you’ll be writing again, Paul. I’ve missed your take on things and your excellent writing style. I’m sorry for your health issues and hope they’re somewhat resolved for the time being (all we can hope for at our age!).
Hi Paul, just wanted to let you know I enjoyed reading your ‘Geezer thoughts’’ even though it is obvious that we would need to avoid a ‘politics discussion’ May God bless you and yours today and always.
You certainly have your overseas adventures! Very happy to have you home again.
Susan Moran
I have missed your ruminations. Thrilled that you wrote this and enjoyed reading it very much.
With your strength coming back, I expect more posts and the novel.